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Welcome to r/datingadvice! Please keep the rules of r/datingadvice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a message. We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Why does no one pursue in today’s world of dating? Every guy i meet online seems interested but barely texts and doesn’t pursue. I remember years ago guys would chase me and text and now they move on to the next for no reason. I dont know if hes interested or not, what do you think? Ive matched with a guy on tinder, he initiated the chat, i replied, he asked a question and i replied 9 hours later. One week later i sent him a new message and we started talking the whole day with him taking usually 15-60 minutes to reply. We seem to have a lot in common. I wouldn't be interested either. She was interested until you blew her off and spilled her drink. Dating Over Thirty is a sub for discussion and advice on dating and the dating phase of relationships for people over the age of 30.This is not a place to post personals or 'looking for' or hookups. I moved to a new country a year ago. I have absoluetly no one here, other than my friend circle. Kinda alone, lost and sad. Would love someone to be with and share stuff with. I actually dont care about physical contact right now. It would be nice to have someone who likes me back, and I could say stuff to. Would love some advice.
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These might be obvious already to at least some of you, but some people may not actually know this.
Most of my dates tend to be from online dating (but this can be applied to IRL as well), but one thing I've figured out if they want a 2nd date or not is to see how they act after the first date (obvious, right?). I date girls, but this can be likely be applied to guys as well.
In my experience, some of the signs below mean they've likely lost interest:
-Less frequent texting. Especially if she was texting you a lot before the first date. That being said, this will vary from person to person. You'd have to analyze how her texting habits are leading up to the first date when you first meet her (online or off) and exchanging numbers.
-The same amount of texting, but more 'polite' type texts (and pretty much no emojis) instead of flirty to borderline flirty ones (with perhaps at least some emojis sprinkled in there). Even if she is generally replying quickly to your texts, don't make the mistake of assuming that it means anything. Basically, look at the 'context' of her texts.
-Says she's not sure of her schedule, but will get back to you (a frequent one that a lot of women use and almost always complete BS, lol). This is honestly almost an insulting one, haha. One time, a woman tells me she always gets her schedule like 2 weeks in advance, then when I asked her for a 2nd date after the 1st, says she needs to check her schedule and get back to me. Trust me, most women already know what their schedule looks like.
-Tells you she's too busy without offering an alternate day/time for a 2nd date. This is usually a blowoff.
-Doesn't initiate texts anymore. Before the first date, it might be 50-50, or like 75-25 of the guy initiating the text convos (something like that). After the 1st date, she doesn't initiate anymore. Now, what I will say is that if she didn't initiate any text convo before your first date, then this might not necessarily apply in your case. She might be one to wait until she's serious with a guy before initiating texts, or just not be one to initiate them at all (in which case, you'd have to see if that's acceptable for you or not).
I'd say these are the 5 biggest and obvious signs of lost interest after the first date based on my dating experience and history. If you do only see one of these signs, you might still have hope. If you see 2 or more of these? Then, it doesn't look good at all.
Not sure what to think or do.
I known this girl for about 5 years. We were part of a group of friends. The group for the most part has now split a long time ago.
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We are all in college and/or graduated now.
I saw her right before moving (6-7 months ago)for work. It was random and I didn’t know she worked there. We caught up just a little.
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Just last week I texted her seeing how she doing. I also told her that I was coming back to town for the weekend and if she wanted to go out. She said she was busy the weekend due to work and I said let me know about next week because my company is letting us work from home, she said she will keep me posted.
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We did text a little bit more after that but not too much. I could had ask a lot of questions but wanted to save it for in person.
I texted her today about next (this week) and she said she’ll let me know and after a while she said she works all week during the afternoon. And she said if the week after Christmas is fine.
I’m not sure what to do or what to think. I know that if they wanted to that someone can always make time for you.
Technically she did say if next week is fine but most likely she also knows I have to go back. Should I tell her if a certain day that week will work and see if she is genuinely interested?